simply living my life.

11th February 2013

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Blinded Friend.

How can someone live their life day to day knowing that something is bothering their “friend”? ..In this case their “best friend” or “sister” ?
How do you keep doing what you’re doing when you know that what you’re doing is wrong and is hurting your “best friend” ?
How do you keep dismissing the subject when it is brought up and act oblivious to the subject as if you have no idea, when really you do.
How can you act like everything is fine when the facts are clear and you undoubtedly know that something is wrong. 
How do you act like nothing is wrong between you and your “friends” when in reality you can slice the tension with a knife. 

How do you let a guy come in between a friendship of 7 years?
How do you let him change you?
How do you become obliviously blind?
How can you hurt your bestfriend?
How can you keep dismissing the fact that something is wrong?
How can you really call yourself a “friend”?

These are some of the things that I just cannot understand at all right now.. no matter how much I wanted to. 
I’m stuck in the middle of all this and there is no escaping. 
I want to help out both friends, but one is dumbly blinded and in denial and the other one is just plain hurt.. crushed like a walnut.. every crushed piece of that walnut represents something that she is hurt by. 
Trying to knock some sense into the blind one with hint after hint thrown at her face but she’s just not getting it.. or more like just not admitting to it. 
Trying your best to help the one that’s crushed because she’s your bestfriend and sister and seeing her this way absolutely crumbles your heart.
At the same time I’m dealing with my own problems which doesn’t help me or the situation I’m in, not one bit. 
I feel like I’m a bomb that just keeps ticking and ticking and ticking.. but I can only tick for so long until I explode. 

I wish I was a turtle.. where I can just hide in my shell from everything and wait until everything is fixed and over. But I cant even step a foot back because I can’t leave my friend out there to get more hurt and eventually fall to the ground and not be there to catch her. 

I just wish that some people weren’t so blind.
I wish that guys weren’t so dumb and horny and difficult.
I wish that none of this ever happened. 
I wish she was still with her ex-boyfriend.
I wish she never started working there. 
I wish she never put her “friend” in this position. 
I wish I could knock some sense into her and uncover the blindness with a snap of a finger.
I wish my sister didn’t have to go through this. 
I wish none of this ever happened. 
I wish a lot of things…

All we have to thank is the Blinded Friend. 

Tagged: friendsstrugglespersonalrantthoughtspersonal thoughtsfriendshipssistersboysboy problemsblindedblinded by lovehe's just not that into youwalnutcrushedhurtobliviousboys suckhelpdramablinded friend

31st January 2013

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Save Me The Trouble.

Dear God, 

Why do things happen the way they do? 
Why do certain people come into our lives?
These are two question that constantly runs through my mind. Day in and day out. Always in the back of my mind.

I’m tired of not having an answer to these questions, and as much as I sit here and ask you, I still don’t have the answer. God, help me please. If you’re not going to tell me, please help me realize this. Soon. 

I’m tired of having people come into my life, they stay for a while, and then leave whenever they want to. 

Just as you think they’re here to stay, they walk out and leave the door slamming in your face.

Gone. Not knowing what happened or why. Just gone like the wind. 

I’m simply a human being. 
I have feelings too. 
I need the unanswered thoughts that linger through my mind to be answered. 

God, you’re the only one that can help me. xo

- Elisa. 

Tagged: letter to GodGodHelpPersonalRantLetter To GodletterthoughtsPrayers and Thoughts

16th October 2012

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HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY CRISTINA!

This is my best friend, today is her 19th birthday. We met in grade 3 and have been best friends for 11 years.. which have been some of the best years of my life. She is one of the most passionate and loving people I know. We have gone through so much, our friendship is so strong we managed to survive the battles and hardships that we’ve encountered. No one can tear us apart. You know when you just need someone to talk to, be there for you, listen to you, turn to for help, advice, comfort, guidance to.. she is always there for me no matter what. She always listens no matter how many times I repeat myself or how annoying I can be, she sits there and listens, she always helps, she always knows what to say and do to make you happy, she just wants the best for you. We do the craziest things when we’re together and the adventures are never ending. We act like total dummy’s and do the weirdest things but really, who cares. We have so many wonderful memories together and so many more to come! Honestly, I don’t know where I would be or what I would do without you in my life. She is my best friend, she is the sister I never had. Cristina, thank you for all that you have done/ helped me with in the past and for everything you continue to do for me. Thank you for putting up with me and for never letting me down or leaving me. Thank you for always cheering me up when I am down, you always know what to do or say to put a smile on my face.  Thank you for coming into my life, planting a place in my heart and staying by my side through everything. Thank you for being my friend and sister. Nowadays it can be hard to fine such a great, genuine, true best friend and sister, and honestly, she’s one of the greatest best friend that anyone could ever hope for. Thank you for being mine <3

I’m wishing you a very happy birthday, from the bottom of my heart. I hope that you have a super amazing day filled with happiness and love. I hope that all of your dreams and wishes come true. You deserve the world. <3

P.S - GO wish her a Happy Birthday!
Tumblr: http://yourloverxxx.tumblr.com/ask
Twitter: @xxxyourloverxxx 

Lot of love, Elisa :)

Tagged: happy birthdaybest friendssisterbirthdaywishespersonallovebest wishesthank youfriendship