simply living my life.

11th February 2013

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Blinded Friend.

How can someone live their life day to day knowing that something is bothering their “friend”? ..In this case their “best friend” or “sister” ?
How do you keep doing what you’re doing when you know that what you’re doing is wrong and is hurting your “best friend” ?
How do you keep dismissing the subject when it is brought up and act oblivious to the subject as if you have no idea, when really you do.
How can you act like everything is fine when the facts are clear and you undoubtedly know that something is wrong. 
How do you act like nothing is wrong between you and your “friends” when in reality you can slice the tension with a knife. 

How do you let a guy come in between a friendship of 7 years?
How do you let him change you?
How do you become obliviously blind?
How can you hurt your bestfriend?
How can you keep dismissing the fact that something is wrong?
How can you really call yourself a “friend”?

These are some of the things that I just cannot understand at all right now.. no matter how much I wanted to. 
I’m stuck in the middle of all this and there is no escaping. 
I want to help out both friends, but one is dumbly blinded and in denial and the other one is just plain hurt.. crushed like a walnut.. every crushed piece of that walnut represents something that she is hurt by. 
Trying to knock some sense into the blind one with hint after hint thrown at her face but she’s just not getting it.. or more like just not admitting to it. 
Trying your best to help the one that’s crushed because she’s your bestfriend and sister and seeing her this way absolutely crumbles your heart.
At the same time I’m dealing with my own problems which doesn’t help me or the situation I’m in, not one bit. 
I feel like I’m a bomb that just keeps ticking and ticking and ticking.. but I can only tick for so long until I explode. 

I wish I was a turtle.. where I can just hide in my shell from everything and wait until everything is fixed and over. But I cant even step a foot back because I can’t leave my friend out there to get more hurt and eventually fall to the ground and not be there to catch her. 

I just wish that some people weren’t so blind.
I wish that guys weren’t so dumb and horny and difficult.
I wish that none of this ever happened. 
I wish she was still with her ex-boyfriend.
I wish she never started working there. 
I wish she never put her “friend” in this position. 
I wish I could knock some sense into her and uncover the blindness with a snap of a finger.
I wish my sister didn’t have to go through this. 
I wish none of this ever happened. 
I wish a lot of things…

All we have to thank is the Blinded Friend. 

Tagged: friendsstrugglespersonalrantthoughtspersonal thoughtsfriendshipssistersboysboy problemsblindedblinded by lovehe's just not that into youwalnutcrushedhurtobliviousboys suckhelpdramablinded friend

1st October 2012

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Friends, I need YOUR help!

I don’t care who you are, or if you follow me or not.. I want YOU to Ask Box me a Topic or something that I can write, rant about. And I mean anything. I’m feeling creative :)
http://eh-lee-sah.tumblr.com/ask PLEASE :) 

Tagged: friendshelpsuggestionsranttopicaskask boxpersonalcreativehelp me out

1st October 2012

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Friends, I need YOUR help!

I don’t care who you are, or if you follow me or not.. I want YOU to Ask Box me a Topic or something that I can write, rant about. And I mean anything. I’m feeling creative :)
http://eh-lee-sah.tumblr.com/ask PLEASE :) 

Tagged: friendshelpsuggestionsranttopicaskask boxpersonalcreativehelp me out

15th August 2012

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Thankful.

Lonely nights in my room lead me to do a lot of thinking and by a lot, I mean A LOT! My mind starts working from left to right, pulling in memories from left and right. I start reflecting on myself and my life, and that leads me to realizing how darn lucky I am to be here right now, living my life. It makes me realize how blessed to have a family who loves me unconditionally no matter what and friends that are there for me no matter what. I’m so thankful for everyone who has come into my life and has decided to stay and continue this crazy, adventurous journey with me. I mean, I know we all have our ups and downs, but having those people that mean SO much to you by your side at the end of the day really means more than anyone can understand. Sometimes it’s so hard to say how grateful you are, especially if there aren’t enough ways to say it.. So I try and write it down, like I am trying to do now, but again, it’s hard to try and express my feelings exactly, especially because I just can’t explain how truly grateful I am. 
So I would just like to Thank everyone who has come into my life and has decided to stay and continue this journey of life with me. You guys don’t know how much I appreciate it! I honestly, from the bottom of my heart love you all to bits. xo <3 

Tagged: thankfulgratefulfamilyfriendsthank youpersonalrantblessed

8th May 2012

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HOW…

are you friends with someone for a couple years.. go from talking about anything and everything, everday and then one day just stop. not one peep. nothing. almost as if the other person doesn’t exist?! 

it’s something i don’t understand. it’s something i can’t let go of no matter how much i want to or how hard i try. it’s bothers the living jelly beans out of me!

Tagged: personalpersonal thoughtsrantpersonal ranti don't understandfriendsex-friendshowbotheredin the back of my mind